how a pillow can be a matchmaker
by Terapsina
Summary: Alec has accidentally informed Izzy about her feeling for Clary, unfortunately she wasn't actually aware of them until then.


**Disclaimer** : Not mine.

 **AN** : I wrote this really quickly so it probably has ton of mistakes I'm going to notice only after I post this, but I want to actually publish this today so you'll have to deal with the flaws and I'll have to deal with the embarrassment.

Not sure how in character it actually is, it's not how Izzy or Alec act in public but I THINK I have them in character for when they're alone and having a private sibling moment.

This takes place some undefined time after end of season 2, but ignores the resurrection thing and the Lilith thing, we can all pretend that either those things didn't happen here or they haven't come up yet. But other than that consider everything that happened in canon as having happened here.

*o0O0o*  
* **how a pillow can be a matchmaker** *  
*o0O0o*

"I am so stupid." Izzy whines, voice muffled by the pillow she holds over her face.

"You're not." Alec says, exasperation clear in her brother's tone. She pulls up a corner of the pillow to glare at him.

"I'm in love with Clary. I've _been_ in love with Clary since I don't know when and only noticed it now that she's actually dating Jace. Clearly I'm not _smart_." She says with a huff and puts the pillow back where it belongs. Over her head, to hide her from the universe. "Apparently even _you_ noticed before I did."

"Thanks." Alec says dryly.

"You know what I mean." Izzy says and waves her arm vaguely around in his direction. "I'm the one who's good with feelings. And crushes. You needed Magnus to crash your wedding before you'd-"

"I was well aware of my crush on Magnus, Izzy." Alec says, a slightly insulted tone to his words.

"Great, my oblivious older brother has been more self aware than me. And I met Clary before you met Magnus."

"By like _two days_."

"Considering the fact you're practically engaged already-"

"We're not engaged." Alec splutters and she takes a quick peek because even now as she feels like her world's imploding a bit she can't help but take pleasure in her brother's embarrassed blushing.

"Like I said. Considering you're practically engaged already while I needed you to mention this before the penny even dropped..." She trails off as her throat closes up, bantering with Alec had distracted her for a bit but now the aching feeling inside her chest returns without mercy.

She likes Clary, she's always known that. There's always been something bright and shining about her that drew Izzy like moth to a flame, from the day she crashed into their lives and pulled them all out of the monotony they'd been stuck in.

And yes, it might have shaken a lot of ugly things loose, - Valentine and Jonathan and their parents' Circle past - but Izzy still believes that's better than them still having remained waiting in the shadows.

And she's attracted to Clary. She knew _that_ too, but Izzy's attracted to lots of people so she hadn't thought it a problem. And if Alec hadn't tried to awkwardly make her feel better about her unrequited feelings she could have continued to be completely oblivious to them.

"I hate you." She says, not meaning it at all but somehow feeling better having said it anyway. "Why did you have to tell me?"

"Like you said, you're usually the self aware one. I though you knew Iz, and honestly you've been pretty-"

"Obvious?" Izzy asks.

"Yeah." Alec says, apology in his voice.

And on reflection she has been. Averting eyes when Clary and Jace were dancing around each other, smiling at Clary like she put the sun in the sky, spending every moment both of them are free together; by talking, or training, or trying to catch Clary up with some new relevant detail of a Shadowhunter's life that might have been ignored during the hectic months of war with Valentine.

She can see how Alec, so used to intentionally being a step apart and observing everything like the protective older brother and competent Head of the Institute he is, could have seen the signs and reached the correct conclusion. She just doesn't understand how she missed it herself.

A memory from the party right after Raziel's Rise hits her and she wishes she could be swallowed up by the blankets.

"I told her I always wished I had a sister." She says, mortified.

"Oh, Iz." Alec's voice is gentle and she has to fight off tears at how sympathetic he suddenly sounds. "Do you want me to go raid mother's liquor cabinet?"

Izzy thinks about it only for a moment.

"Oh by the Angel, yes."

* * *

It's maybe five minutes later that there's a knock by the door. She doesn't bother to get up.

"Come in!" She calls to Alec, pillow still over her face.

As soon as she hears the door sliding open she starts talking.

"So how do you think I should deal with this? Two bottle's of mom's finest scotch and then a drunken letter I'm gonna burn later starting with 'Dear Clary, I just figured out I'm totally in love with you, please stop dating Jace?'. Angel, I'm awful and I don't even know if she's into girls too."

There's a startled, decidedly not-Alec gasp by the open doorway and Izzy sits up so quickly the pillow topples off the bed.

Clary's standing wide eyed halfway into her room and Izzy feels all the air leave her lungs.

"Clary- I- that wasn't- I didn't-" Izzy clenches her mouth shut and stays frozen, sitting in her bed.

"You're in love with me?" Clary says, looking shocked.

"I didn't mean that. I mean I did, but it's fine, I don't- I don't actually want you to break up with Jace for me." Izzy says and flinches. "Not that I think you would. I just... I though you were Alec."

The silence that follows is excruciating, and Izzy suddenly doesn't know what to do with her hands. Frustration sparks in her belly overtaking the terror as the loudest emotion inside her. She's Isabelle Lightwood, she's always comfortable in her skin, confidence leaking out of her pores and right now she can't seem to finish a sentence or figure out what to do with her _hands_.

How did one innocent question from her older brother lead her to _this_? She was fine living on in her cloud of oblivion, oblivion didn't hurt like this.

"I'm not." Clary says and then clears her throat still looking like Izzy had knocked all the wind from her.

"What?" Izzy asks, confused.

"I'm not dating Jace. Anymore. We broke up two weeks ago." Clary says and Izzy tries her best to smother the hope trying to wriggle free in her chest.

"Oh." Izzy says. "Sorry?"

"You are?" She says, sounding unsure.

"Are you?" And Izzy needs to know because the fact Clary's apparently not dating her brother after all doesn't necessarily mean she isn't still in love with him. And even if she isn't it doesn't mean she has feelings for Izzy.

"Not really, it was... too weird. I know he's not actually my brother now, and believe me, I'm _relieved_ , but- but it was too weird for us."

"But before, you were both-" Izzy doesn't even know why she's not changing the subject.

"Pining? Yeah, and we probably still would be if we hadn't tried to actually be together, but turns out when you remove the incest guilt the thing we were feeling guilty about wasn't that huge after all." Clary says in a way that makes Izzy certain she had already talked through this with someone else. Probably Simon.

They fall into another lengthy silence. Staring at each other.

Clary's beautiful. And this isn't news to Izzy but suddenly seeing her for the first time since being struck in the face by the truth of her feelings, it's starker than ever. Fiery red curls fall out of Clary's messy ponytail, framing her face attractively. There's runes all over her shoulders and arms and Izzy realizes the familiar itch in her fingers is from wanting to trace every curved line.

"Are you?" Izzy says, interrupting the now charged silence.

"Am I what?" Asks Clary, an amused curl to her lips.

"Into girls too?" Izzy's fingers clench the sheets under her hands, heart beating rapidly against her rib cage as she waits for the answer.

"Yeah." Clary smiles. And then her smile grows wider as she finally finishes stepping into her room. "I'm very, very bi. And also... um, I like you too."

'Like' wasn't really the word that started this conversation, but that's okay. Honestly she's not really ready for the other 'L' word yet either, there's rather a difference between admitting it to Alec when he already knows, and she needs him to help her feel better about it being hopeless, and saying it on purpose to Clary when she's only just realized it herself.

But apparently they have time. Now that she knows it's not hopeless after all.

* * *

Alec's still trying to break his way into his mother's hidden expensive liquor cabinet when his phone pings with a message from Izzy.

He reads it and smiles. It seems his sister won't be needing any temporary heartache cures tonight.

*o0O0o*

AN2: This is only my second time attempting to write something in this world so don't be too harsh too me please.


End file.
